"it only hurts at first. try not to go running back to him. so it goes unsaid that we've been here before- lonely nights and endless fights and sleeping on the floor. and he's sorry, so the story goes. it's read and replayed and ends the same way. stop expecting change, he's just a lost cause that you're waiting on. take a look around, you could have anyone. so leave undeserving him."

It's time for me to give it up and seriously let things take their own path. I don't feel like manipulating the storylines in my head any more. I have this problem where I feel like everybody's life should be its own fairy tale. I don't see through rose-tinted lenses, I see things as if fate were in our own hands; malleable enough to be shifted into our desired direction if we put in that much more effort.

It is naive of me to dream for perfect endings. When I see people who rarely face any "drama" I wonder how they came to avoid conflict so easily. Is it their patience or lack of interest? I tend to take life too seriously, and I often find myself buried in thought or worry. For once, tonight, I feel clear-headed, and I really like this feeling. Even by delving into this particular thought of mine has proven that I tend to be an overthinker. OK! So it stops here.

Valentine's Day... I believe I wrote an entry on this Tabulas entitled "Candy hearts" a couple of years back, which I will proceed to peruse now.